BackWoods Drifter

The story I am writing, A Man And His Dog, happens because I was homeless. In this post I’m going to give you the condensed version of the events that led to my downfall.

I’ve been divorced since ‘91, and my ex absolutely hates me to this day. When I get near her it’s just like the last argument only fifteen years later. I don’t know why she can’t let it go. Because of that hatred, I was seldom able to see my kids. She just kept moving and I couldn’t keep track of her. There was a reason for it, she didn’t want me to have anything to do with my kids. I was lucky if I was able to see them more than twice a year.

When I did see them though, they were dressed neat and seemed to be very well taken care of. I used to say… I gotta give her credit. She may hate me but at least shes taking care of the kids. Was I ever in for a rude awakening, after it was already too late.

I was working and living in Wylie, Texas in 2002. My best friend at the time was my ex-wifes brother. He used to keep me up to date on how my kids were doing. I even kept in touch with him from Texas. He was living in Ohio, which is where my ex and the kids were also living. One day I get an e-mail from him and in it he tells me about my only daughter, who was thirteen, and my fifteen your old son both being arrested because of charges brought against them by their mother. I just couldn’t fathom that. We have good children with good hearts. Why would she want them in jail? There was only one way to find out. I left nearly everything I owned in Texas and was on my way to Ohio within 24 hours of getting the e-mail.

I received a reality check the minute I saw the kids. They looked lost and scared to death. They were also living wild and free. The ex would come in from work, change and stay gone from home till the early hours of the morning. Of course if you leave teenagers to make their own rules, your probably not going to be happy with the results. The ex filed unruly charges against the kids after the county had charged them with underage consumption. My daughter had just turned thirteen and was smoking pot and drinking. The county picked her up with one of her friends walking beside the road at two o’clock in the morning. I found out later from a social worker that the ex was told the only way for her to avoid a child services investigation was to bring charges against the kids. I’m not even going to get into how I feel about that. Suffice it to say, I was furious. The ex was willing to sacrifice our kids freedom in order to maintain her carefree lifestyle and the county was supplying her with the tools to accomplish her selfish goals. She was the one that let them run free to begin with.

At any rate, it didn’t take me long to decide the kids needed my intervention if they were to have any kind of future. They were all failing in school and couldn’t wait till they got old enough to drop out. They desperately needed someone to care about their grades or care about where they were when the sun went down. Just simply care about them.

I made a decision that forever changed my life and my attitude. I got a job working as a maintenance manager then I hired a lawyer and filed for custody. I could easily support the kids. I was going to live right in the area and they could see their mother whenever they wanted. At the time the kids really wanted to stay with me. They needed and obviously craved stability. I talked with the kids before filing the suit. I wasn’t going to take them from their mother. I was fighting to give them the choice of who they wanted to live with and I was fighting for my right to be their father.

I couldn’t get anybody to listen. My kids futures were at stake. I wanted them to finish school and even worked closely with the school in getting the kids to improve their grades.

After I paid handsomely for a lawyer, there begins a devastating domino effect. First of all, the very people that I had called friends for years and knew what was going on told me upfront they wouldn’t go to court. The ex was causing so much trouble for the kids in court that I was in court and average of three times a week trying to give them moral support. The lawyer took nearly three months to file an emergency custody suit. All the money I had was tied up in a lawyer that obviously wasn’t going to be much help. The courts automatically believed the mother when in this case all they would have had to do was conduct an investigation. The same with child services who’s investigation amounted to talking only to the ex. They told me they knew there was alcohol usage in the household, they knew there was drug abuse in the household, they knew they were lied to by the ex, they couldn’t do anything about it and I had no rights. Talking about a punch in the gut.

Determined to save my kids I fought with the courts until I was flat broke. Spending all that time in court, not even the most understanding of employers can deal with it too long. I lost my job, then my house after which the fight was over. I fought till I had not a penny in my pocket or a leg to stand on. They just wouldn’t listen and I made myself literally homeless trying to get them to. Now just these few years later, all of my kids have spent time in either jail or juvenile detention. Two of them have dropped out of school and gave me grandkids. The oldest didn’t get to graduate with his class because of a felony conviction.

Somehow I told them so just doesn’t say it. I want to scream it in the ears of all the people that ignored my warnings.

But anyway, that’s the condensed version of how I came to be homeless running around the West Virginia Backwoods with a dog named Sam.

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On another note…. it’s back to the road for me. I’ll be leaving in the morning for Sonoma, Kentucky. I’m going to try and post to the blog from the road but in the event I can’t… I’ll be seeing you in about five days.

take care